How to Support a Loved One with Binge Eating—Without Causing Harm
When someone you care about is struggling with binge eating, it’s natural to want to help. You might worry about their health, feel confused about what to say, or even wonder if you’re making things worse. You’re not alone—and your desire to be supportive is incredibly valuable.
But here’s the tricky part: much of what we’ve been taught about food, weight, and health is rooted in diet culture and stigma. So even well-meaning comments can unintentionally lead to shame, secrecy, or more disordered eating behaviors.
Let’s talk about how to support a loved one with binge eating in ways that are compassionate, respectful, and truly helpful.
What Not to Say (and What to Try Instead)
1. “Are you sure you want to eat that?”
Even if it comes from a place of concern, this kind of comment fuels shame and reinforces the idea that food is something to be judged. Instead, focus on connection.
Try:
“How are you feeling today?”
“Want to eat together?”
2. “Have you tried cutting out sugar/gluten/dairy/etc.?”
Binge eating isn’t about a lack of discipline or the “wrong” food—it’s often rooted in restriction, emotional pain, or a disconnected relationship with the body. Instead, ask if they’re getting the support they need.
Try:
“Would it be helpful to talk to someone about how you’re feeling?”
“I’m here if you ever want to share.”
3. “But you don’t look like you have an eating disorder.”
Eating disorders don’t have a “look.” People in all body sizes, genders, and backgrounds experience binge eating. Avoid commenting on appearance altogether.
Try:
“I care about you no matter what you’re going through.
“You don’t have to look a certain way to deserve support.”
Understand the Why Behind Binge Eating
Binge eating is not a moral failing or a matter of willpower. It can be a coping tool—often one of the few available when someone is overwhelmed, exhausted, or disconnected from their body. Many people binge after long periods of restriction (whether intentional dieting or chaotic eating patterns). Shame only worsens the cycle.
Healing involves building trust with food, body, and self again—and that takes time, safety, and support.
How You Can Help
Be a safe person. Create space where they don’t have to pretend everything is fine. You don’t need to fix it—just listen with care.
Ditch diet talk. Avoid conversations about weight loss, “good” or “bad” foods, or body critiques—especially around meals.
Respect their autonomy. You can’t force someone into recovery, but you can walk beside them and encourage professional help when appropriate.
Focus on connection. Share meals, go for walks, talk about things that have nothing to do with food or bodies. Remind them they’re more than what they eat.
Educate yourself. Learn about weight stigma, intuitive eating, and trauma-informed approaches to eating disorders. (You’re doing that right now—go you!)
When to Encourage Professional Support
If your loved one is experiencing distress, hiding food, isolating, or feeling out of control around eating, professional help can be incredibly healing. Binge Eating Disorder (BED) is the most common eating disorder—and it’s treatable. Therapy that supports body trust, not body shame, makes a real difference.
Final Thoughts
It’s hard to see someone you love struggle. But your support can be a powerful part of their healing—not by offering advice or solutions, but by being present, nonjudgmental, and informed.
At Shore Wellness Counseling, we help individuals recover from binge eating with compassion and care—no shame, no diet talk, no body shaming. If your loved one is ready to start this journey, we’re here.
Want to learn more or schedule a consultation?